Blogtember : Deep Breaths

Day 4: A time when you were very afraid

I had to do some thinking on this on (I guess that's a good thing) and finally it came to me last night while running.  A lot of blog posts come to me while I'm running. However, I generally forget by the time I get back home.

When I set off to college I was bound and determined to go to Butler for 4 years straight, major in psychology and everything would work out perfectly. 

Done and done.

(Speaking of Butler, we lost our beloved bulldog mascot, Blue II, last Saturday.  He will be dearly missed around campus and Indianapolis.) 

Well two years in and lots of awful math and statistics classes later I realized maybe this well thought out path wasn't the perfect one for me.

I realized I was at a turning point in life and it terrified me.

Me, the planner, had this all thought out, envisioned and calculated to the last moment. Suddenly things were not playing out like I had dreamed. 

Psychology was not turning out to be what I thought it would be for me and, as much as I LOVED it, Butler just wasn't the 100% right fit.

Now what, right?! What was I to do? Suffer through the rest of my degree? Switch majors? But to what? I had no idea.  

It was that thought of, 'I have no idea what I want to do or what I should be doing.'

And when you are at the age where you are supposed to be figuring those things out, that is down right terrifying.  

I went home for the summer after my sophomore year, not sure what was next.

I never thought that when I started school, I would be reconsidering attending Butler half way through. 

And I was scared. These were big decisions and not ones that had been written out neatly in my planner.  These were life altering, path changing decisions and it was scary not knowing what was next in my educational and life path. 

 

While home, I ended up (totally by chance) working at a new interior design store in town.

It didn't take long for me to fall in love.

One day I was talking to my girlfriends about my new job and how much I loved it and was really starting to love interior design.

And then at that moment, a light bulb went off,

things fell into place and I had my answer.

I wanted to go to school for interior design!

I literally remember smiling and being SO relieved at this revelation.
It just clicked and the puzzle pieces all fell together.

Those changes (a new school and a new major) brought along a whole new set of scary times, but in a good way.  A good and exciting scary. 

Or there is the not so life altering scary story, about the time I had a panic attack while we were snorkeling in the Great Barrier Reef because I didn't like that I couldn't breathe out of my nose.  But that doesn't seem to be nearly as exciting. 

And you can't have a Friday without a little Floyd ;)

And Floyd wants to wish a very super, special happy birthday to Bethany today!!