Snoozin in the Clouds

I really hate breaking my blog silence with this post but it has been on my heart to share with Floyd's fans, friends and family that he crossed over the rainbow bridge 4 weeks ago.

I announced this on Instagram shortly after it happened but sharing it here has taken some time to come around to.  We have met, connected and began so many friendships (who've turned into family) from this blog and solely because of Floyd.  Our family is honored to know that Floyd brought smiles, happiness and laughter all across the world because of the blog.  And the joy he brought Floyd brought to our family is immeasurable.

Mister and I brought Floyd home with us when he was 6 weeks old.  From that day he was a constant in our life.  Always there, always sassing around, always snoozin.  As you can imagine (and anyone with dogs knows) once they are in your life, you just expect them to be there, always.  I won't lie, I still look for Floyd, expect him to be sitting at the front door window and to come slinking around the corner.  We miss him constantly.

About a month before Floyd passed away we had been at the vet for his yearly check up.  Everything checked out okay except our vet told us she could detect a heart murmur in him.  We had noticed that Floyd had been slower and seemed to be getting hotter on walks, even when it wasn't too hot out.  However, we knew his dramatic personality and simply getting older,  we didn't think too much of it.  Once we knew he had the murmur we scaled back the walks, waited until it was cooler and kept an eye on him.

The day before he passed away he began to act off and a little weird.  That morning he wouldn't come in from outside, even for a piece of grilled chicken.  We knew something was off then.  That evening he seemed slower and a little out of sorts.  He would just stand in one spot for a few moments and then move on.  I sat on the floor with him and we snuggled in a blanket.  I quickly noticed his chunky paws were cold.  His paws were ALWAYS very warm so this was concerning.  I also checked his gums and they were pretty pale (while feverishly texting my favorite dog experts and Floyd's favorite aunts, Kait and Casey).  I called the doggie urgent care and they said we could bring him in or wait until morning and take him to our vet.  Thankfully (seriously!) our vet had an opening come available that morning and she was able to get him in right away.  (Side note we love our vet and even more so now with how she helped us handle this situation.)

I went over his symptoms and recent behavior and she decided to do an ultrasound to see if he had a blockage.  She quickly came back and told me that she found a tumor in his spleen as well as lots of blood on his abdomen.  She showed me a very full vile of blood she had taken from him in the short time he was getting an ultrasound.  She said the tumor had began to burst and was trying to get blood from other areas of his body (hence the slowly down).  

I quickly (while sobbing) called Mister and he came to the vet right away.  After that we talked through the situation with our vet.  She explained that there was a VERY good chance the tumor was cancerous and even if they were able to remove it, the cancer would most likely come back within 6 months.  She also advised that there was a good chance he would need a blood transfusion and he may not survive that.  And even it wasn't cancer, again he would likely need a transfusion and there could also be other tumors in his body that were cancerous. 

This news + the heart murmur + his age + his anxiety issues (which had gotten a lot worse in the past couple of years) we made the hardest decision of our lives.

I imagine no one that has ever been in that position feels like it's easy but we knew it was the best decision for him.  We did not want to suffer, to be in pain and to be released of his anxiety.  

 Floyd was the best bubba to us and so so so loved by so many but no one harder than Mister and I.  We still miss him and talk about him (and in his 'voice') every day.  We try to comfort ourselves knowing he is snoozin in the sun all he wants, eating all the peanut butter he wants and getting alllll the belly rubs; living his best life.

The grief comes in waves but we are doing our best to get through it.  It is extremely hard to get used to how quiet our house is without him (sans that almost 2 year old we have ;) ).  

Thank you to all of you for your wonderful messages, prayers and stories of remembering Floyd.  We are so grateful for all of his 'fans' and the love the blog world has always shown us.